It’s just over a week since Jacintha Saldanha committed suicide by hanging herself with a scarf. I was absolutely gutted to hear the news and even more gutted to hear the cause. She was an outstanding Nurse with a lot of experience and I consider her to be a kindred spirit and a peer who will be missed hugely in her profession. I have been growing more concerned over her death as the week has gone on and wanted to write something to honour this beautiful soul and write from a nurse’s perspective. Over the past week I have read various views on social media about Jacintha’s actions, most of which are hugely compassionate and caring. However, some people have remarked on how it could ever be possible to mistake two Australian DJ’s for Royal family members. Some have remarked that there must have been something else going on in her life for her to kill herself for “this”. I read these comments with disgust for it shows a complete lack of understanding of human nature and the confusion and desperation that Jacintha must have felt regarding her situation. It also shows a lack of understanding and complete disregard of the blame culture present in the health care profession.
I have been a Nurse for over 25 years now and I have worked in the NHS and Charity sector for much of that. What I can tell you here from experience is that Jacintha must have felt totally alone and enormously fearful for her future given her situation at that time. This was no ordinary situation; this was an absolute embarrassment for the Hospital on the biggest scale you could imagine. The breach in confidentiality was not against a member of ‘Joe Public’ but was the future Heir and King of England’s Wife. I believe completely without a doubt that the Hospital, a private Hospital reliant on reputation, will not have taken that well. Jacintha will have felt the immense pressure and wrath of the management and senior Nurses to such a degree that she would not have known which way to turn. Please believe me when I tell you this would have been the case.
The reality of this is that Jacintha was a loving Wife and Mother and was staying in London only to work so she didn't have family support around her. She could not have returned home to Bristol without a media furore surrounding her as soon as she left her work base home. Even the most experienced celebrities with their PR gurus struggle with that type of media pressure so I can not imagine what Jacintha was feeling. She was not in her native country and must have felt a million miles away from home. On top of that she would have been facing Hospital management and seniors who would have seemed extremely intimidating to a Nurse under those circumstances. They would have been absolutely furious to learn that their Hospital was in the ‘limelight’ for confidentiality issues regarding Royalty and working within an environment of “Blame Culture” they would want answers. As a human being and a Nurse I can tell you that Jacintha would have been completely falling apart at the seams and with very little support available to her.
It has been alleged that Jacintha wrote three suicide notes during her two attempts to take her life. One to her beloved family, one to the DJ’s where she laid responsibility for her death at their feet and the third note was reputed to criticise certain members of the Hospital staff. This confirms what I believed happened to Jacintha. No sensitive, caring, compassionate human being would have been able to cope with the enormity of this situation without a great deal of support and care. In my opinion Jacintha would have been a strong capable lady, you need to be in the Nursing profession and taking her own life was not a sign of weakness but a sign of sheer desperation given her circumstances. My heart feels heavy to think that we lost such a wonderful Nurse but it feels even heavier when I think of her two children without a Mother. Was her life worth more than the Hospital reputation? Was it worth more than a stupid prank? Of course it was!
If I could say anything to Jacintha right now it would be to say you did not do anything wrong and I so wish that I, someone, anyone could have reached you and taken care of you. Thank you for your dedication and compassion as a Nurse, you will be greatly missed. To her family I want to say that I am sorry we let Jacintha down and that this cannot be the end of the matter. Whatever led to Jacintha taking her own life must be shared with you so that you can understand and make sense of your loss. My heartfelt love and sincere condolences go to you all.
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