Don't "Diss" your Sisterhood!

Audrey Hepburn is one of my favourite woman-kind of all time and I love her quote “You can tell more about a person by what he/she says about others than you can by what others says about him/her”. Too true Sister!

You can picture the scene can’t you?  You sit down at a table next to a group of women when you over-hear them talking in excited, hushed tones in the most damning, derogatory way about another woman? I have witnessed the scene many times myself and been quite glad that it wasn’t me they were talking about. But I have to say that I have been on the receiving end of this kind of tongue-lashing a few times too and found it very distressing and felt completely betrayed through it. To a certain extent I appreciate male company more than female for this very reason; except for the handful of genuine, authentic “Wild Women” friends that I have the honour of connecting with.

Now, I parted ways with some relief this year with a female friend who did or rather still does diss her sisterhood. I am ashamed to say that I have sat with her whilst she has divulged the most intimate of details regarding mutual friends. I cringe to the highest degree that I was party to one conversation that resulted in me knowing one particular friend had never achieved an Orgasm in her fourty-something years! I am quite sure that this information was never meant to be up for general discussion behind her back and that it was only shared after a lot of soul searching and courage with just one person…. And that person betrayed her big-time through repeating it! I could write many more instances but you get the picture right? … This woman and those like her are never happier than when they are surrounded by a captive audience spilling the beans on other women with the utmost glee and delight thus giving everyone there the benefit of their skewed thoughts and perceptions of other women and girl-friends.

Dissing your sisterhood really is the most unattractive habit to witness, both for men and other women. Whilst you sit there happily taking in all that dirt and grime just think about what she will be saying about you behind your backs girls. That is guaranteed to make you think twice about being a part of such a vile activity. But I am interested in why women do this because men don’t do they? Lots of research has gone into the differences in how men and women communicate and it is well documented that women tend to talk over a problem or issue with their peers until they feel satisfied that it is resolved and they have a solution. But dissing your sisterhood is different to that. To me it is more unclear as to why some women sit happily slagging other women off but when you research more into this there are common themes that evolve regarding those who do it.

It seems that those women who diss their sisterhood are very much showing their own personal insecurities and imperfections. They huddle together gathering all those who will listen, which is usually the same girl-kind each time. They want to feel secure, popular, needed and intelligent. They observe traits, beauty, possessions or whatever in another woman that they themselves would like to possess but instead of thinking “go-girl, you have done well” or “you are gorgeous, good for you” they instead feel the need to rip them apart and somehow make them appear ugly, fake and failures. It is pretty obvious to me that women who diss their sisterhood are reflecting what they feel about themselves… but through their jealous ugly words they don’t see that they are reinforcing their own unhappiness and negativity. If only they would step back and realise that they hold the key to their own success, beauty and happiness.

Next time you hear this going on just take a look at the perpetrator and notice their imperfections (we all have them), their voice tone and their posture and ask yourself two questions. Do you see how visibly unhappy, bitter and jealous they are? Do you personally want that negativity in your own life? After all, life is tough enough for us all, whether male or female, without adding to it. We are sharing this life journey on Earth for a long time so why don’t we start 2013 by showing more kindness, compassion and humility towards our sisterhood and stop dissing other women… I am sure it will make the world a happier place for all of us but most of all the ones who are insistent on being carrying out this awful pastime