Well the festive season is nearly behind us and my thoughts are excitedly turning to new ideas, new motivations and new priorities! But somehow I need to acknowledge some of what I have observed and felt over this Winter Solstice period before I leave it behind and turn my face to new beginnings.
Over the festive season I looked back at the year and felt suddenly very humble and extremely wealthy. I looked at all that we have in life and at all our Yule gifts and felt completely overwhelmed. So much so that it reduced me to tears. Tears of happiness and gratitude for ALL that we have in our lives here!
This year has been quite a year for me. It has been a year of letting go, facing fears, regrouping, moving forward and making new plans. I guess that is what life is usually about, but for me personally 2011 has been hugely liberating on so many levels.
I think that my transformation into the person I am today began through heart-break and desperation in 2010. My Fiancé suddenly ended everything just as we were about to send out the Wedding invitations. It completely floored me, I didn’t see it coming and I became engulfed by a sea of despair and disbelief. That happened just before Samhain 2010…. It was my beautiful family and friends who held me close and stood by me that gave me the strength to carry on and evolve from what I felt to be utter devastation.
I really withdrew into myself, looked deeply inside of me into my very core and realised that I am not responsible for someone else’s issues …. What I am responsible for is myself….yes me! I had committed myself completely to someone and had lost “myself” in the process because I didn't keep anything back for myself. But ~ I had choices and I chose to be that woman!I realised that my trail of failed relationships before him revealed a pattern along the same lines but I had never learned the lessons I was meant to learn. The Universe works in mysterious ways but the penny dropped at that point and things started to click into place!
So what did 2011 bring? Once I had licked my wounds and allowed myself to heal I set about changing my mindset completely. I have to say this really was NOT easy to do but I have the most wonderful inspirational friends who played a major part in that and I began to live my truth. So, I chose to sell my house at a huge loss which means I will probably never own my own home again. But I gained financial security and reduced the stress on my salary hugely. I reduced my working hours which gave me an extra day off after slogging fulltime since the age of 18. I have secured a permanent position with my employer to work in Glastonbury which is opening up so many fabulous opportunities professionally and spiritually. My beautiful son is thriving and healthy again and has secured a place at College near Glastonbury when he leaves school. I chose to leave a Pagan group from but I listened to their ceremonial leaders at Winter Solstice this year talk to a crowd of over 5,000 people about peace, harmony and walking hand in hand with unity so I am hopeful that they keep their word and that there will be unity between all again ...including with me... And last but not least I have got creative again with craft skills that I have not used for many years.
All positive positive stuff eh! And so the wheel turns and with it comes the return of the Sun again to my life. Much work is still to be done and old habits do creep in at times but I recognise that. ….. So here’s to honouring the past, learning from it, making choices and taking responsibility and to the most exciting new beginnings!
No comments:
Post a Comment