I am prompted to write my blog after a quiet day of contemplation. This day feels very significant, it feels different somehow. It has been a day of Remembrance all round I guess with it being Armistice Day but also my thoughts turned again to last weekend on the M5. For me this day is shrouded in mystery, with talk of 11.11.11 and the potent Full Moon. I feel a change, a shift within myself through an increasing consciousness of certain elements in me and I know others who are feeling the same. This year has been life changing in very many ways, not just for me but for my friends and I am definitely sensing the beginnings of a return to simplicity in life for us all.
I feel the need to share something with you. A week ago my heart went out to all those affected by the M5 crash. As the true extent of the horror unravelled I felt a gut wrenching knot in my stomach just thinking about the families who had to go through the trauma of hearing that knock at their door to be told their loved one had died. You see, as a family we had been through that very scenario exactly eleven years ago today, though it feels like only yesterday. For our family, the families whose loved ones died in the M5 crash and any other family who has gone through this it changes life for ever beyond what you could imagine! I started to re-live my own experience of back then with such a strong desire to hold those families close, to comfort them and tell them that I and many more share their grief, that they are not alone.
I work with death every day yet it did not prepare me for the journey I was to make, and still make, eleven years later. My work also did not prepare me for the cyclical nature of grief either, which I suddenly became conscious of last weekend. I tell people every day that grief is a cycle of phases that we revisit at different times in our lives. Yet to my surprise I forgot that this also applied to me! Watching the events of last weekend on the M5 took me back to a place that I did not want to go. I went to bed that night and cried so much for their loss and mine from eleven years ago and I felt something sink within me again. So now, I find myself on a journey again to find my place in the world that I feel is too full of material things, possessions, cruelty and greed. I am reminded again of what is important in life through letting go of someone so precious. As a family we all appreciate our love for each other and if our loss taught us anything it is to never take each other for granted but to treasure what we have. Life is fragile but in Death there is always rebirth: the wheel of life where the flow of existence is never ending.
So,my message in what I write here is to show kindness, compassion and understanding to everyone around you. We are here just a short time sharing the same planet, all of us on a journey and none of us knows what the person next to us has lived through or is living through. Everyone has a life story beyond what you see on the surface! Let’s all slow down and really “see” what is around us.
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